Friday, November 25, 2011

Two choices: to stay or to leave. Mine was so easy to uncover, you already left with the other.

Who knew I'd get myself into another complicated situation like this one? I've already said I've had enough. Because really, I did. But nothing can stop these feelings from happening. No, not even rationality didn't do the trick. Seems like the emotions took over again before I could tell it to stop because everything's happening too fast again. Too fast that I didn't even notice it was already coming to an end. An end that I didn't expect to come like this. I've expected a clearer ending, a "goodbye" that is as dramatic as the "hello" that started it all.
I would have never imagined it to be this way - me almost admitting that he was becoming a special person in my life. Confessing to my friends one-by-one that I think I'm already developing feelings for you. What with the sweet gestures and never-ending conversations, who wouldn't fall? Or is it just that gravity was pulling too hard on me that even if there was no one to catch me, I fell hard. And maybe even broken a bone or too - and my heart.
It wouldn't hurt like it does now if only things happened slower. Like not just in a span of days, nights and just hundreds of messages sent. If only I'd had the time to know what you didn't like, I would have worked on it. But maybe the problem's not mine. Maybe you really just liked her so much and you're starting to get close so you think you like her more. Because there's no denying there was indeed something before. If there wasn't, then why do I feel this way now? I'm not the type to like a person so much when they don't give me the reason to. I need nudges before I develop feelings because believe me, I have eyes for everyone.
I want to move on and forget everything happened but somehow, some part of me still believes that nothing's gonna happen between the two of you. That you're just doing this because you're extremely jealous. After all, you get jealous real easy. I don't know what to think, say or do anymore when you're around. Because you still give me the attention you gave me before. I don't know.

PS: Ang sakit lang kasi talaga, alam mo yun? Hindi. Hindi e. Hindi mo alam gano kasakit. Nananadya ka ba talaga o sadyang manhid ka lang? Nakakainis ka na e. Kitang umo-okay na ko e. Kasi sabi ko, hindi pa naman kita gusto diba? Madali lang mag-move on! Pero ano? Nang-asar ka pa. Nilayuan ka na nga, lumapit ka pa din. So ano, anong gusto mo? Friends pa din tayo? Layo layo muna. Please lang? Nakakainis kasi mga nangyari e. Sobra lang. Sobra.